Someone called me a bachelorette the other day and I laughed aloud and agreed. I suppose I am.
Today while carting spent dishes from the desk to the kitchen sink (inconveniently located in the bathroom), I sighed and said "I am alone. I am entirely alone" aloud. My heart said it, my head did not. My head was too busy being full of haze and that weighty garbage feeling that comes along with sickness. So I am alone. I have been alone for quite some time now, but today, maybe because it was spoken directly from the heart, it felt really official.
In the waking hours between waves of T3 induced sleep, my eyes blinked open under the million blankets to negotiate the time of day based on the amount of light in my home while my body skillfully sweat out toxins by the bucketload. I poked my head out and looked around. Jessica was leaning against the wall in her usual spot (spots of light blinked off her shiny new pedals, she rides like a dream these days), The Surly was hanging precariously from the ceiling and things were in their usual places, and my body was terribly out of sorts but I still felt okay.
Eventually, I rose from beneath my soft mountain to make eggs and toast and to drink a tall glass of milk (something I rarely do) and again I said "I am alone" aloud, as if stating the obvious would make a difference. I am indifferent of the difference. But happily indifferent.
My mum turned and looked at me the other day after I shared some good news with her and she said "you are coming into yourself" and if I had feathers, they would have chosen that moment to puff up from the plume. It is amazing how normal my mother is able to make me feel sometimes. I think it is one of her special talents, normalizing her children.
There is no point to this entry, I just felt like announcing that I am alone (as if announcing it aloud to myself three times in the quiet of my quarantined home was not enough). I have been printing my face off and am very pleased with the new direction of my work. For months this summer, I quietly grieved the fact that I was not making anything beautiful or taking any photographs but this extended Autumn season seems to have done wonders for my art scope.
Thank you El Niño. You rule. Speaking of wacky temperatures, back to the soft mountain I go hi ho. I have a malady to sweat out.
Here is a small sample of new work that I have been busy preparing for a few upcoming art sales. Sleeping and eating, two things that I can do just fine on my own thankyouverymuch.
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