Saturday, July 30, 2011


When there are nights of these sort, life normalizes, limbs relax with each sip, and laughter between two women becomes easier and easier. Today as the summer evening stretched her arms wide open to this great city, Leo, Chanel et moi wandered with Dairy Queen in hand, beating the heat. No sugar for the chicken. I babysat Le Poulet in the evening and when his parents woke me after their dinner party, I was sprawled sleeping on the sectional clutching a copy of Nightlife in my hands.

Ass sweat, mom hair, dowdy dress; Margot Pollo. Wild Montreal, the Fear of Missing Out gone right out from under my feet. There was no place I would have rather been this evening than out walking with two of my favorite people, the day's heat settling on our skin like hot fog. Leo in little pants, bareback, flopping ringlets. No-no, his blanket wrapped around his feather neck like the most chic throw.

Then without any sound, Jeremy cracked two bottles of wine and we all got to talking. Damn I love my job and so appreciate the family I have found in the absence of my own. The Sprys, my family. Virginie, what a woman. I walked home at four in the morning, thinking of the conversation between the two of us, and of Rouge. Got a bagel on the walk home down Fairmount without thinking and nodded to all the workers bustling to get the early morning bagel order out the door, onto the trucks. I have done that work, I respect that hustle. Sesame fingers.

It was funny, sharing so many things this evening, hearing the words come out of my mouth: the fear and hope tied tight like one of Simon's sailing knots. Virginie took it in stride and provided me a platform to coo out my excitement at the prospect of feeling at home in a studio once again. She understood my longing, or I felt understood in it. 

The print. I have not forsaken you, I am simply waiting.

Now sleepless at four in the morning for the seventh day in a row, my mind lurches forward to a place I do not yet know, to hall smells unfamiliar, my heart swelling with excitement at the thought of being a student of art. SOON. Soon. Soon enough.

Until that day, I plan on enjoying the longest summer I have experienced in three years! What a glorious season, this one. Tomorrow is empty, the only thing on my agenda is an East Coat photo pick up. Color film, underwater cam. And just like that I am transported back in thought to Simon and I kayaking on my second last day of holidays, into a channel of water that sealed the deal: one day I will live on the east coast. His face underwater, eyes open for a flash to the plastic lens. Then a switch, my eyes bursting open in that icy salt water, clear as the day is long. God I miss that place. The water, the rocks, sea grass. Soon enough indeed. Photos will fill in the blanks of diction, I hope.

Drex and Danika were married today! My love to you two on your wedding day: July 29, 2011. While I may not have seen the vision that I know you to be through a misshapen lens, I can imagine it easily. Blessings on your love. 

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