Friday, August 26, 2011

Year of Learning.

Leo and I. Montreal, May 2011.

Today is my last day as a full time nanny to Leonard Arthur Spry. The routine I know like the back of my hands will soon be pulled out like a rug under foot. I am ready. As Leo drank the contents of his bottle in my arms this morning, I couldn't help but spill tears onto his head. Either he failed to notice or he is used to them by now.

How I will long for the weight of his body curved against my own in the rocking chair. Leo has taught me to recognize patience within myself, to trust my instincts, to read body language when there are no words to choose from. So many nights I can hear his cry in my head causing my body to snap up, ears alert. What does he need? He needs love, nourishment and reassurance just like every baby. The reality of our separation will settle in only after the fact. Leo is my best Montreal friend, there is no denying that.

I will miss cruising around town, just the two of us; Leo high up on my shoulders, little hands folded on the crown of my head. I will miss watching him interact with little people at Parc Outremont where Francophone, Anglophone and Hasidic Jewish children mix together seamlessly. Last week I watched Leo stomp on the precious sand work of four girls who looked about five or six. They were furious with him but he stood his ground, blowing bubbles as if to prove a point. What a guy.

Leo starts baby school on Monday! Virginie invited me to come along for his first day. I think I will die with pride, camera wobbling in my hands. Little backpack on a little boy. I don't know how parents do it, let their babies go. He isn't even mine and already I am misty eyed at the thought of him being scared or uncomfortable in the company of strangers. Don't worry baby, you will familiarize yourself and eventually there will be comfort in place of fear. New toys, new people to stare at, new smells, new pairs of arms to pick you up.

I don't know what to say other than I will miss you dearly, Le Poulet.

This is not the end, but just the beginning.

Day 3 on the job with Le Poulet. Montreal, September 2010.
The Boy Who Eats Stars. Montreal, January 2011.
Crazy poussin. Montreal, January 2011.

Laughing chicken. Montreal, November 2010.
Baby lips. Montreal, April 2011.
Leo with the Croc Slaying hat. Montreal, March 2011.


  1. I can't believe it!! Tears McLaren over here.


    One chapter closes and now to the books. Thinking of you every second.


  2. Thanks for being the one person to share how these entries make you feel. I appreciate these little sentences more than many things. Now to the BOOKS! Oh how that made my heart jump. Thinking of you every second.

    The future is NOW.
    Love, Aunty MD Mergs